Today is 31 December 2022. Every year at around this time I would write a memoirs from the future post where I reflected on each month of the year and would select some photo’s. This year, I feel like I spent a lot of time in my head as I navigated trauma exposure therapy, came to accept some of my very random quirks and set some boundaries.
This time of year people often reflect on their year. They make mention of all the “success”, or feel like failures because they compared themselves to others and felt they didn’t achieve anything; which is quite sad for them. Because even overcoming a hurdle is a success; waking up and pushing on when you want to give up is success. Success isn’t always fortune, careers and material accumulation.
My year doesn’t run from 1 January – 31 December. It runs from my birthday to the next birthday. That is my year. I don’t really have specific goals that I set for myself. There are things I want to achieve, like saving’s goals or maybe I want to find a new job, or create more time for myself. It all depends on what I feel needs some work.
But this post is about the year 2022 and what went down. It was a year of growth, it was a year of challenges and I didn’t meet my savings goal.
2022 was a year of a year of discovering a more accurate sense of self. I took steps to my ultimate goal of living more authentically. I learnt the value of saying no and I learnt that saying no does not automatically lead to people hating me. I also learnt that if saying no does make people hate me, I don’t actually need those people. I remembered that the only person that is guaranteed to be with me until I die is me, so I needed to take care of me.
2022 was a year of a new career that turned out to be more hectic that I could have imagined. But that mid year brain unravel was a catalyst to arranging my work weeks to have a long week end every second week end to do more things that give me joy.
2022 was a year of travelling more in one year that we have in a while. I visited Wanaka. As a family we visited Taupo, Melbourne and Christchurch.
2022 was a year of heart break as I watched Kelso’s heart shatter into a million pieces, but the pride and joy of being witness to the phoenix rising made up for those hard weeks of watching the pieces of his heart lying like shards of glass around him. He didn’t just survive, he has thrived.
2022 was a year of disconnection and connection. I reconnected with Cluadia on a deeper level than in the last few years. The daily connection has been a treat and incredibly healing! My ride or die. We all need one, even when you don’t think you need one, you do. My chosen family that I treasure with my whole being. We didn’t speak often for many years, our roads went in different directions and we had our own things going on, but somehow our roads aligned this year in the last few months and I couldn’t be more grateful.
2022 was a year of openness and vulnerability. For those of us who’s instinctual go to is self preservation and independence, admitting that we need people is hard. But when opened up … it like waterfalls and butterflies. We don’t need everyone, we need some special people that enrich our lives in ways we would never imagine. The openness and vulnerability created space for healing; I learnt that from Jacqueline in therapy… she didn’t carry my load, but created a safe space for me to put it down. And that is what we need. When we open ourselves up, people see us, we see others. We see those that pick up up, we see those we are able to pick up. Perfectly connected.
2022 was a year of creation. The birth of Unrobed. I learnt how to make soaps, balms, body butters and creams. By the end of the year I had perfected cream deodorant and even sold some. It was born from a place of love; my love of nature, my belief that we don’t need chemicals soaking into our skin and that Pachamama has our backs and provides all the skin loving magic to keep us glowing and beautiful.
So as we ride into the 2022 sunset, I will wake up tomorrow and feel no different from today, but I do wish everyone a happy new year and a brilliant 2023. Brilliant will look different for everyone; don’t be too hard on yourself, show yourself love and appreciation and the rest will fall into place. Remember you are all beautiful, you are significant and there is always someone who loves you.
Candice Peetz 