No direct line to the sky

In my first post I mentioned how so much of what I had written on my old blog site didn’t really resonate. A case in point was my view on religion. I wrote a post in 2012 about how I didn’t really get the point of religion. In 2014, I wrote a similar post about what the world could be like if there was no religion.

I have never quite grasped the concept of believing in something “higher than myself”. This isn’t for lack of trying; at some point I wanted so badly to just believe in something; but God just wasn’t one of those things. This could be because I have religious family members that I don’t quite respect, we had religious studies in high school that was biased and to be honest, I just didn’t like the judgement from those who claimed to be walking alongside Jesus in their lives.

I explored the spiritual realm of Angels and the likes, I still like to think that crystals hold some energy, but I don’t wash them in salt water under a full moon like I once used to. Because no crystal grids or chants actually made my life any richer either.

I remember when I wrote my first blog about this topic, I explained myself; I wrote about how I didn’t want to offend anyone. I was told I was brave to write all that stuff and I still don’t understand how not believing in God or Jesus is brave. I am a lot less unapologetic about it now, because honestly, if you don’t like how I live my life, remember that it is me living it. I will accept any consequences you believe I may succumb to because there is a good chance I don’t believe in those consequences anyway. I used to get stroppy and tell them I will see them in hell because judgment goes against their teachings, but to be honest, people need to live their lives in the way that makes sense for them and me saying those things was judging too. And who do I think I am?

We chose to raise our son without any religious teachings. Well, that’s not entirely true; he knows about the different religions and the basics, his girlfriend is into the more “spiritual” stuff and speaks to him about it. But what we didn’t do was indoctrinate. George, a devout Christian, agreed that the path to belief to should be a journey he takes and decides for himself. I remember being asked where he will get is morals and values from. I remember being told that it was wrong. I was told a lot of things; I took some stupid parenting advise from people (mostly family), but this was one thing I simply was not entertaining.

A few weeks ago, we spoke about his religious beliefs and if he had any. Bare in mind that we have taken him to church; not to indoctrinate him, but just to expose him and because there was a band there. Ironically a piece of advise I got while sitting a church actually changed my life – but lets be honest, it’s sometimes just basic psychology and good advise. I didn’t need the light of God to lead me to the change, it was just a few words that happened to come out of a pastors mouth. Back to the beliefs of my 14 year old son. He said that he didn’t believe in what the religions taught. He isn’t sold on the idea of believing in an entity he can’t see, touch or smell. It was that moment I knew he was mine! Jokes aside though, it just got me thinking about whether what I thought about belief held water; in that if we are not taught it, we may not believe it. What if we all just moved through life seeing humanity and respecting one another without the noise that can cause more divides that many care to admit to. Maybe down the line he has a moment where it all changes for him. No one will ever know until that day comes.

Right now, he thinks a lot about life. He is probably the least judgmental person I know and has an absolute heart of gold (I am his mother, it is obvious I would say that – but we get the feedback from others on how he a good friend, always kind and honest). He isn’t well behaved because he believes that God will punish him for his sins, he has so much self respect that he wants to just be true to himself and doesn’t want to live his life doing things that don’t do him any good. We got here, with no religion. I know, he is 14. I should wait, right? I should wait for the wheels to come off and we will see all this unravel. Well, then we deal with that when the time comes with love and respect.

I acknowledge the need for people to have a belief system. I am now so thrilled that people can find meaning in their life. While I tend to dislike organised religion, I can respect that there are people who need it.

I feel so satisfied in my life to just be myself, maybe not in all my glory; I have a way to go to shed the layers and take off the masks. But stopping the search of something “greater than myself” is a weight that has lifted.

Sometimes there are no answers to life’s ultimate questions apart from 42. And I can live with that!

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